Daemons of Another Kind - Glimpses
by lillpon
Summary: Various scenes in my Captain Swan x His Dark Materials fusion. Mostly a deeper look in the canon of the show, with the addition that the characters have dæmons - their souls manifested as companion animals, as seen in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials universe. Chapters will not be in chronological order. Rated T for language. - Current chronological order of chapters: 1, 2
1. Accidental eavesdropping (3x07-3x08)

**Short Prologue:** As said above, this is a companion piece to Daemons of Another Kind. Scenes from around the seasons will be presented from various points of view (mostly Emma and Killian). The updates/chapters won't be in chronological order, but all stories will be mostly canon-compliant to the show.

You don't need to have read Pullman's books to understand what's happening and you also don't need to have read the main fic (though it would help).

If this is the first time you're reading about this universe, here are a few quick facts about dæmons:

Dæmons are corporeal manifestations of people's souls, taking the form of an animal that can speak with a human voice. Children's dæmons can change shape at will, but they eventually settle on a form when the human reaches puberty, usually symbolizing the human's personality. Since they aren't real living beings, they don't need to eat or drink separately from their humans, but they sleep when their humans do. The mind of a human is connected to their dæmon's, allowing them to feel and think and even dream the same things at the same time. However, a dæmon's personality can be slightly different from their human's.

Dæmons can touch each other, however their humans can feel pain if their dæmon is being hurt. If a dæmon is slapped, the human's skin can go red. It is widely known and considered despicable and a taboo for a person to touch another person's dæmon, as it is literally them touching their soul. In such a case, the human can feel repulsion, upset, pain, or even faint. However, it's fairly common among lovers to touch the other's dæmon, in which case the human feels elated.

Physical contact between a human and their dæmon is part of their life and can bring comfort. Humans need to keep a close distance to their dæmons. Being apart for longer than ~6 meters can cause physical pain, which increases with distance and very long distances can cause death. In Pullman's series the witches had a rite of passage which included the witch walking far from her dæmon. At its completion, the witch and the dæmon were still connected as before but could walk as far from each other as they wished without repercussions.

In most cases, the dæmon's gender is the opposite of the human's, but there are exceptions.

As human and dæmon are connected, the death of one leads to the death of the other. When dæmons die, they turn immediately into Dust and disappear.

 _List of dæmons in this fusion (more may be added later)_

Emma - Addar (white ferret) - not corporeal until 4x08  
Killian - Esther (swan)  
Henry - Orion (unsettled) - not corporeal until 4x22  
Snow - Birch (robin redbreast)  
David - Rydel (Welsh sheepdog)  
Neal - Celestia (mockingbird)  
Rumpelstiltskin - Evaline (ball python)  
Regina - Arcon (red-furred monkey)  
Zelena - Knox (winged monkey)  
Robin - May (fox)  
Marian - Noris (squirrel)  
Elsa - Kaupi (snow leopard)  
Merlin - Nymeria (lynx)  
Liam - Alinda (mixed breed dog)  
Milah - Macon (racoon)

* * *

Emma has always been a heavy sleeper. Growing up in foster homes with many restless children, sleeping in a car with every noise cutting through the window, one gets used to falling asleep even with loud noise around them.

It would have been the same today, if the noise wasn't children crying. It tugs at Emma's heartstrings - how often was it that she cried herself to sleep like that? She's seen how ferociously the Lost Boys fight for Pan, how that boy defended him like he was the best thing to ever happen to him, but still their cries sound so desperate, so pained, so craving for a mother's love…

That's it. She pushes her cover off her body and stares at the trees above her before she raises to her feet. Neal perches his head up at her movement.

"You okay?" he says.

"Yeah, I just need to… go… you know," she lies. With a quick look around she sees her parents, Regina and... Tinkerbell still sleeping, their dæmons curled up next to them. She still knows very little about dæmons besides the taboo of not touching someone else's dæmon, yet it feels weird to see Mary Margaret hug David's sheepdog like she were her own, and David letting her. "Where's Killian?" she asks, trying to take her mind off her parents.

"He was on guard just a while ago. When my time came he excused himself and went into the jungle."

"All alone?"

Neal shrugs. He doesn't seem to care much.

"Whatever," Emma says and walks into the trees, begging for some quiet from those haunting sounds… as she walks she recognizes Esther's distinguishable tracks on the dirt, right next to long tracks, undoubtedly from her human's boots. Before she realizes it, she's near a clearing, the small lake and the rocks visible from the trees… as well as the pirate's sleeping form perched on some of the rocks.

 _Shit_. After their awkwardness in Dark Hollow, the last thing she wants is some alone time with him. She turns hastily back and on her first step, her foot is caught in an upturned root and she falls down with a grunt.

She hears the sound of feathers rustling and someone gasping - him. After a few pants, his breathing goes back to normal. Emma turns her head slightly and looks at him. His shoulders seem to sag with relief as he pets his dæmon's head.

"Was that an animal?" Esther says.

They both look at Emma's direction, but the thick leaves seem to obscure their vision enough for them to not see her. She contemplates asking for help, her foot seems really neatly trapped among the roots, but then he grunts in pain. Emma turns to see him remove the brace holding the hook on his arm and hiss. She's too far to see a lot of detail but winces a little at the redness around the stump.

"That has healed relatively well," Esther says.

"Aye. Must be what they did at the hospital. I have to admit that land has its own miracles."

"You shouldn't have put the hook on so fast."

He sighs and looks ready to snap. "I've seen my fair amount of injuries, I don't need your guidance." Esther shrivels back at that and his face falls. "I'm sorry. I've become so unused to listening to you," he adds in a soft voice.

"It's not that you've never shut me up before," Esther quips, but she stretches a little to rub her head on his chin, both closing their eyes.

Emma looks at her foot helplessly. She can cut around the root with the cutlass, but she'll be heard and letting them know she's been listening - albeit by mistake - would be awkward.

They pull away and look at the wound. His hand goes to hesitantly touch the sensitive skin, trembling and stopping before it does.

"Perhaps you should dip it in saltwater. The cold water may also alleviate the pain," Esther says.

Killian sighs lightly, his shoulders falling. Emma winces, dropping her head. That would sting as hell.

"Perhaps, but the sea is a little too far away. And who knows how long we've actually been sleeping."

"I can go."

He huffs. "The fact that you can fly away from me doesn't mean I want you to." His voice goes softer at the last words, probably softer than Emma has ever heard him. "And how will you carry the water?"

"You may know Neverland better than I do, but I do know one thing. You just think of something you need…" Her voice trails off, and Emma can't help looking out of curiosity. A metal bucket, complete with a handle, has appeared in front of the dæmon.

"You shouldn't abuse this magic like that," he says in a bitter tone. "Who knows if it won't alert Pan?"

"Hey, you're not the only one hurting here."

His face falls and Emma can't help looking away again. "Nothing hurts as much as losing each other, you know that."

After a few moments of silence, Esther speaks again. "Perhaps. But now that bucket is here, so may I go and help a little?"

Emma only hears the rustle of the swan's feathers as she flies away. She keeps her head low and tries to move her feet off the roots without making a noise. She can still hear the children crying, and that along with her effort almost bring tears to her eyes. Damn place.

Esther comes back quickly enough, and curiosity gets the best of her as she turns to see Killian welcome his dæmon back with a tight hug.

"I'm fine," Esther says playfully. "I can handle some flying, you know."

"Aye," he says and sets her down. Carefully, slowly, he dips his arm into the water and hisses, biting his lip in an effort to keep himself from shouting in pain. Esther makes a cooing sound and approaches him, and Emma drops her head. The roots around her foot look a little less tight now, so she tries to move again as slowly and carefully as possible.

"Is it really better that way?"

"We don't have any bloodmoss around, do we? We'll have to make do." His voice sounds strained. "Esther, look at me. Thank you for doing this, you know how I appreciate it, but I mean it when I say I don't want you to fly away from me."

"Noted. Perhaps we shouldn't let it be known that I can."

"Hmm. There may more be people without corporeal dæmons around, but there's no doubt we'll be one of a kind among the others. Perhaps they'll find out eventually."

"Aye, but what if they use that against us? What if someone takes me away again?" Emma shivers at the fear in her voice.

"Hey! Hey, Esther, look at me. I will never, _never_ let anyone touch you again. I will kill them with my bare hands if it means I can stop them or punish them."

"Even Emma?"

Emma freezes. _What_?

Knowing she probably has a really stupid face, she turns to them. He's glaring at Esther, obviously wanting her to drop the discussion, and that really doesn't help. Emma starts panting.

Esther… _someone's else's dæmon_ wants to touch her?

Shouldn't that… Isn't that…?

As if on cue, the root around her foot loosens completely and she struggles to stay quiet as she raises to her feet and walks away, her hands shaking.

They've only _kissed_ , just once… And yes he admitted what he admitted in the Cave, but still… how…?

She reaches the camp faster than she'd like. Her hands have stopped trembling, luckily, because she couldn't handle Neal peppering her with questions now. He just looks up at her and nods, smiling lightly and she walks back to her sleeping mat.

She plops down, accidentally making more noise than necessary, and Mary Margaret opens her eyes lazily. Emma smiles apologetically at her, and Mary Margaret simply gives her a warm smile, looking at her with… just looking at her.

Emma lies down and closes her eyes.

It's only then she realizes she can't hear the cries anymore.


	2. A New York City Talking Swan (3x12)

_Ouch_.

 _Ouch doesn't even begin to describe it_ , he thinks to himself and leans back on the wall, his hand clumsily trying to alleviate the aching part.

Esther's pained growl is sound as she appears from the corner.

"How is it that I don't have balls yet somehow they still hurt?" she mutters as she half-limps to him and Killian stifles a laugh.

She rubs her head on his leg. "She's going to have to drink the potion," Killian says softly.

"I can't wait to see their reactions to me," Esther says, voice full of irony.

At that point they hear voices in the hallway. They decide to leave after them, having no idea when Emma and Henry might leave their apartment - they wouldn't want to appear as stalkers now, would they?

Killian remembers seeing all kinds of… peculiar people in the streets last time he was here, but still a man clad in black leather with a swan walking beside him looks out of place even for this city. Everyone who is not absorbed to small contraptions in their hands - and even some of them - stares at them both in confusion and surprise.

"Is it trained?" a woman asks enthusiastically as she approaches them.

"Uh… yes? She won't bite you, if that's what you're worried about." _And not because of what you think._

"Oh, can I pet her?"

"No!" he answers way too fast and too loud, startling the woman. He takes a few quick breaths before he schools his features to something more neutral. "Sorry, it's…" He sighs. "She really doesn't like being touched by others."

The woman stares, however, at how his hand strokes Esther's head almost absent-mindedly. "But she likes your touch, uh?" To his relief, she only sounds innocently curious.

Killian nods.

"Can I take a picture with her? I've never been so close to a swan before!"

"Uh… But you won't touch her, right?"

"No, no, I'm just gonna take a selfie!"

Killian swallows hard. The more this woman talks, the more confused he feels. However, the woman simply takes a contraption - a talking phone, as he remembers - and stands next to Esther. _Too close_ , Esther comments, but the woman makes sure to not touch her. The talking phone lights up, and a reflection of the woman and Esther appear on it, as if it's a mirror. Esther turns her head to it in surprise. The woman smiles at her reflection and the picture stands still for a few seconds.

She turns back to Killian. "Could you have her turn her head to the side?" she says, pointing, and Esther does so, partly confused. The woman gasps in shock. "Does she understand English?"

Killian mentally shakes his head. _Too much information in such a short time._

 _English is probably how they call their language_ , Esther provides.

"Yeah," he says simply. "A little," he adds carefully, and the woman turns to the swan with her mouth still open.

"You are such a smart bird!" she says and turns to the reflection, this time pursing her lips and making a funny face at it. She then stands up and thanks them both, walking away excitedly.

Killian and Esther sigh at the same time. He takes a look around, and he sees more people staring at them, some of them holding their contr- talking phones in front of them as the woman did before.

"Come on," he tells her and urges her to walk on, away from prying eyes. That woman may have respected his wish to not touch her, but no-one here knows about the taboo to never touch someone's dæmon, and who knows when they'll bump into someone who won't respect Killian's wishes.

"I think you should fly away, dear."

 _No bloody way._

"Esther, I've lived long and the only person who dared reach out and harm you is now dead. I remember hearing about a big park with a lake here. You can fly there and rest until further notice. I'll have to stay here and wait for Emma."

 _But…_

They both gasp and prepare to run when two children start running towards them, their parents in tow trying to stop them.

 _Point made_ , Esther thinks and runs forward, flying away. _Let's hope no-one will attack me. Otherwise they'll eat my Dust, one way or another._

 _Esther_ , he stops running, looking at her as she gains height. _I spent two centuries thinking you were anything but that. If you could never make such a joke again I'd be grateful._

She hangs her head low and looks at him from above. _Sorry_ , she says with honesty.

* * *

 _I'm coming, dear. Is it too dark there?_

Esther huffs. _Not at all._

Killian cringes at her tone. Sometimes he forgets that she stopped being afraid of the dark when he did, and if he is honest with himself, he doesn't want to think a lot about the time she spent trapped in the dark.

He finds her cleaning her feathers right at the bank of the lake, carefully growling at any passers-by who come too close to look at her. It's good that dæmons cannot feel cold as much as humans do, or she would be freezing by now. However, he feels in his own body the warmth that spreads in her when he hugs her again. It will never not feel good.

They find a decent, quiet place to rest and lie down hugging each other. It feels only minutes after they fall asleep that they hear someone shouting at them.

"Hey, you! Pirate guy! Park's closed! And what are you doing with that swan?"

Esther stands up fast, wanting to avoid any accidental touch. Killian blinks a few times before he focuses on the tall man with a torch on his hand… and a gun on his belt.

"What?" Killian says wearily.

"Central Park's closed from 1 to 6 am. Didn't you see the signs? And where did you get that swan from?"

"She just followed me." Resigned, Killian stands up and puts his coat back on his shoulders. There's no reason to get in trouble while he's on a mission, so he dutifully walks to an exit.

 _We're gonna have to sleep on the streets, then?_

 _I think it'll be better if you stay here, dear._

 _No._

Killian stops on his tracks and kneels down to look at her in the eye.

"You've seen how crowded this place is. Would you rather spend five hours away from me or risk being touched, or even taken away?" He always found that speaking out loud drove the point more quickly. Esther bows her head, muttering an _Alright_ in her thoughts and walks to the lake.

He manages to sleep for a few hours, being jostled awake by random noises, other homeless people bumping into him and some of the fires burning too bright. As he leaves early in the morning, just a little before 6 am, he looks at the people around him and the weight of not having a home finally sinks in.

He has his doubloons, of course, and no doubt that the people in Storybrooke will be more accepting of them - provided they have their real memories - so finding a place to stay won't be too hard there. But nothing will be the same again without the Jolly Roger, his home for so long…

He shakes himself out of his sorrowful thoughts. He's on a mission.

* * *

It's not the first time he stays in a cell, but it's the first time Esther is not in there with him. He still misses her, knowing that her presence would bring some comfort, but he knows the police officers - or however they're called - wouldn't allow a swan in the brig with him. She leaves the water to fly high above the park, giving him some sense of freedom with her wings flapping in the air. Through her eyes, he sees how many people watch her in amazement, some of them probably never having seen a swan from up close before, and silently thanks her for giving him a mental boost.

* * *

"Hook."

He berates himself for having expected to see her happy. Instead, her voice is neutral, careful, almost cold. He can't blame her - she was just given a decade worth of memories she didn't know were real in just a few seconds, she's bound to be a little shocked - but his heart breaks a little further at her tone.

"Did you miss me?" he says, trying his damndest to put up a smile. Judging by her sad reaction, he fails miserably.

"What… what are you doing here? Where did you get the potion?"

"Long story. I assume the potion came from your parents."

"And they're back in Storybrooke? How?"

"No clue, love."

She takes a moment to let all the facts sink in, bowing her head and the knuckles on her hand going white with how forcefully she grips the vial.

"Wait," she says suddenly, her head jerking up. "Where's Esther?"

"At the lake in Central Park. Couldn't just follow me in the brig, could she?"

Her head turns to the direction the park is at. Amazing navigation, he thinks. Killian knows where the park is because he feels Esther's presence, but Emma simply knows the place well.

"Let's go get her. I'm sorry I had you split up." She turns her back at him, walking towards her yellow vessel.

"No need, love. You did what you thought was right."

When they finally reach the park, Emma appears worried.

"How exactly are we going to get her in? They'll think we're abducting her."

"But she'll be following us."

"Yeah, that's not how it works here. Remember, people here cannot even imagine what she is."

Killian sighs. "And it won't look more peculiar if they see a swan randomly flying across the city for a second time?"

Emma glares at him. "Fine. Go get her. Let's just hope no-one gets a video of that."

She is looking outside, appearing worried as Killian and Esther enter the vehicle.

"Hey," Emma says. "You alright?"

"Fine," Esther says cheerfully. "It felt a little strange, all those people throwing me pieces of bread as if I needed it."

"Wait… you _can_ eat, right?"

"Aye, but there's no actual need for it."

"Hmm. Let's hope there wasn't any poison in them. You can never be sure here."

"You're worried about my swan, Swan?" Killian says.

Emma snorts.

 _So when are you going to tell her that dæmons don't usually talk to other people? And that there's a reason I'm willingly making an exception for her?_ Esther thinks.

To his dismay, he feels his cheeks flush, but Emma has already turned her gaze forward.

* * *

"I still can't believe it." Swan buries her fingers in her hair, anger making her body almost tremble. "A stupid flying monkey… of all things…"

"Perhaps he was actually human, just able to transform into one-"

"Walsh didn't have a dæmon. How is that possible?!"

"You don't have one either. There are a lot of exceptions."

Emma just huffs in frustration and he wishes he could comfort her further.

She spends a few seconds staring at Esther before she speaks again. "How did you hide her last night?"

"I didn't really hide," Esther replies for him. "I slept by the lake."

"And where did _you_ sleep?" Emma turns to him.

Killian opens his mouth, but he just resorts to shrugging.

"Oh. Well, okay, you can both sleep here tonight… I'll wake you up next morning to leave before Henry comes."

Before they have a chance to say anything, she's disappeared in her room. Killian feels his shoulders sag, whether it's from exhaustion or general upset, he doesn't know. Esther jumps to his arms and he holds her tight, sitting down on the sofa. He can't complain, it's definitely more comfortable here.

But they'll be damned if they don't stare at her door until sleep claims them. Waiting for Emma to appear and tell them goodnight, to look at him with the same lust and grab his lapels and pull him in her bedroom…

 _And pet me_ , Esther provides.

"Shut up," Killian says tiredly but pulls her closer. _It's not Neverland. She's not the same. We have to give her some time, more time._

Emma comes a little later to give them bedding and bid them goodnight. It's a good thing that emotions are not very clear on dæmons' faces, otherwise all the adoration Killian managed to mask would be evident on Esther's face.

* * *

Emma thrashes around on her bed. It's been a hell of a day and she finds herself unable to relax.

Fucking Walsh. For the first time in a decade, she thought she could really trust someone else besides Henry, trust them with her heart and the deeper thoughts even Henry couldn't bear… and it was all a lie, a big ugly lie.

A tear runs down her temple. Even the time with Henry is a lie. All those years she spent thinking she was a mother, all gone.

She startles when she hears the sound of someone whimpering. She jumps up and throws her comforter off, ready to run to Henry's room… until she remembers he's staying over at Avery's. She half-sighs in relief though her worry is not completely gone. She approaches the door and hears another whimper. Shit, could it be his?

She opens the door slowly, quietly. She peeks into the living room and there he is, lying on the couch, hugging his dæmon close and trembling. The swan is resting her head on his and also seems distressed as well, her feathers shaking slightly. Both their eyes are closed.

It's not the first time she sees him- them have a nightmare but it's the first time he looks so… pained. There's a distraught expression on his face and he keeps whimpering softly.

She should go and wake him up. He-They are probably dreaming about the time Esther was taken away, seeing it happen again… all Emma has to do is walk up to them and wake them up, get them out of whatever horrors they're seeing.

But it will be like an invasion of their privacy, won't it? Why should she risk him being angry at her for spying on him in the middle of the night?

She closes her door and rests her forehead on it. She thinks back to all the times she comforted Henry after a nightmare… all lies, all fake. Does she even really know how to help the pirate sleeping in her living room with that? Would she ever be capable of something as simple as that?

She lies down on her bed again and tries to ignore the soft whimpering from outside and the tears that run down her face.

* * *

"Alright, Henry will be here in ten minutes, you'd better get ready to… wait somewhere outside where he won't see you when he comes."

"When will we be leaving?"

"Very soon. It's already a long trip and there's no need to waste any time. Ehm… about… her..." she says slowly and points at Esther.

Killian looks at her perplexed.

"Don't you think it's better if we hide her?"

"Hide her? She's… quite big. Where?"

"In my trunk," Emma says hesitantly.

His eyebrows nearly reach his hairline. "You want to lock her in something that's worse than a cell? You do know she's not just an object?" Esther takes a step back, half hiding behind Killian's feet.

"It won't be that bad… I can put some thick blankets so she'll be comfortable…"

His expression starts to get angry. "She spent two centuries locked inside a dark cell. There's really no need for her to go through that again, even for such a short time," he says in a heavy voice and pets Esther's head.

 _Oops_. She's struck the perfect chord that shouldn't be struck.

"Sorry," she says, though the thought that he hasn't yet thanked her for releasing his dæmon crosses her mind. "So she'll join us in the car, right?"

"Yesterday's ride proved that's feasible," he says, voice still heavy.

"Fine. But you'll be the one answering Henry's questions. Now go."

Henry doesn't disappoint.

"Wait. We're really going?" he says, reality finally sinking in.

Emma hands him his coat. "Yes," she says in an almost cold voice.

"Wow, wait, is that… a swan?" he says as Esther walks in from the entrance.

 _Oh, great. As if he couldn't tell her to stay downstairs…_

"Aye, she's mine," Killian offers. "Her name is Esther. Esther, nod a 'hello' to the young sir."

Esther obeys, making Henry stare at her wide-eyed.

"So what, she's trained to listen to you?"

"Something like that."

"What are you, in a circus or something?"

"Uh… you can say that. It's not quite like anything you've imagined."

"And she's… docile? She won't bite or attack or just… fly away?"

"Nope."

Henry nods in amusement. "That's neat. Can I touch her?"

Killian doesn't mask his panic in time for Henry to not see it. "Uh… she'd rather you didn't," he says uncertainly, looking at Emma for help.

"Henry, it's not polite to just go and grab people's pets," Emma says.

"Will she bite?"

"No, no, you have nothing to fear from her," Killian says and moves a bit, providing protection for his dæmon.

"Henry, just don't touch the swan. Okay?"

Henry nods reluctantly, but keeps staring at Esther all the way until they've all entered the car. He also stares afterwards, just not all the time and he doesn't comment on her again. However, Emma catches him taking a few pictures with his phone while Killian isn't looking.

Killian falls asleep at some point. Emma looks at Henry through the rearview mirror, and assured that he is too absorbed in his music and his phone, she finally takes the good long look of the pirate she's wanted since she got her memories back.

She's got to admit, he's a little messier than she remembered. His hair is a bit more unkempt; which, considering that she mostly remembers them from Neverland, the fact that they're unkempt _here_ is important. He also looks just a little thinner, and dark circles cover the skin under his eyes, and not the type that appears after only a day or two of bad sleep. His head is bowed forward and his jaw is relaxed, hand covering Esther's head whose neck is lain on his lap.

For the first time she allows herself to think about the hows and whys of him coming back for her. She bites her lip as she thinks that any answer to _why_ he came back would not be received very well by her. If it's a trap and he's leading her right to it, they'll be in trouble, but at least she'll manage her feelings to that. If it's not a trap and he genuinely came back because he didn't stop thinking of her as he'd said… that would be hard for her to deal with.

It's then that Esther's words from Neverland hit her. She still remembers the casual way she asked her human if he'd be upset if Emma touched her. She still remembers how it made her almost panic and run like she was being chased away. If Emma thinks too much on it, and if she judges by the way Esther couldn't really stop looking her way yesterday...

So she doesn't. She turns her eyes back to the road and tries to drive all thoughts about him and his impossible dæmon away.


	3. Names and Forms (s7)

**A/N:** This chapter includes only Wish Hook, Alice and her dæmon.

Since we were never told how/when newborn babies get their dæmons, I decided to improvise on that and make it so that they appear at the moment someone names them :)

* * *

"Alice," Killian says, a warmth he's never felt before filling his heart. He's expecting the flash of light, but he still blinks at it. When he opens his eyes again, a small, red butterfly is sitting on top of Alice's chest, right above her heart.

"Hey there, little fella," Killian says, and the butterfly beats his wings, expertly taking his first flight. He hovers in front of Killian, facing him.

Killian's smile turns sad, and he glances at Alice before turning back to her dæmon. "I've never wished Esther was here more. She would have been the one to name you," he says. "Alas, I think in this case it'll be your human's choice."

At that moment, the dæmon flies a little closer to Killian, then his wings change into a bright blue colour, one reminding him of his own eyes.

"Exploring the world now, are we?" Killian says with a smile. Alice coos in his arms, and he turns his attention to her. It's too late when he sees with the corner of his eye that the dæmon is flying too far from her-

"No, wait!" he says right as Alice emits a piercing cry. The butterfly sways in his flight, but rushes back to her, Killian moving her closer. He turns into a tiny mouse and nuzzles against her neck.

"You shouldn't get too far from her," Killian says. Alice stops crying, but her face betrays her leftover pain.

Great. A few hours into being a father and he already failed to protect her from that pain. He might as well touch her dæmon while he's at it. Killian sighs, trying to bury his dark thoughts about his own dæmon far away. He rocks Alice slowly, careful to not touch the sleeping dæmon.

* * *

Killian sits on the windowsill, his flask in his hand, looking at his sleeping daughter in her crib.

Bloody hell, a daughter... He already feels he could move mountains for her, but now it raises another question.

How is he going to move on without his Esther?

He never expected to survive after getting his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin - having lost everyone that mattered to him, even his own dæmon, had solidified his reluctance to live long ago. But now he had to live, to survive, for his daughter's sake. He will grow old, watching her grow up with her dæmon by her side, keeping her company, talking to her, being with her in a way no-one else can.

He's not jealous. He's just sad. Eventually she'll start asking why he doesn't have one and where she went.

Tears prickle his eyes and he leans his head against the wall, breathing in sharply. He raises the flask to his lips, but stops as soon as it touches them.

He can't afford to get drunk now. Alice will wake up soon in need to be fed. And that'll be his life for days, weeks, _months_ to come.

Without giving it a second thought, he turns the flask upside down over the window, spilling its contents outside, before he throws the flask itself out.

* * *

 _Adieu sweet lovely Nancy_  
 _Ten thousand times adieu_  
 _I'm going across the ocean love_  
 _To seek for something new_

He rocks Alice, clumsily sitting on his foot, as he sings. He's found it helps them both relax and keep her especially still while he plays chess on his own. She's merely transfixed on his hand as it moves up and down the chessboard.

 _Come change your ring with me dear girl_  
 _Come change your ring with me_  
 _That it might be a token of true love_  
 _When I am out at sea_

Her dæmon, still unnamed, to Killian's chagrin, has turned into a mouse and sits on the table, next to the chessboard, watching Killian's moves as well.

"Ah," Killian says, interrupting his singing, "first one to go down." He picks up the black rook and puts it down at the side. Immediately Alice's dæmon goes for it and clumsily picks it up, offering it to Alice's outstretched hands.

"Ah, my curious girl," Killian says as Alice inspects the piece. Alice stares at it, then up at him. "Rook," Killian says, pointing at it.

"'ook", Alice mumbles.

"Yes, love, rook."

Alice turns to her dæmon, then points at him with the chess piece. "'ook! 'ook!" she exclaims.

"Rook? Your dæmon?" Killian asks, pointing to him.

Alice giggles and flashes him a three-toothed smile, her way of saying 'Yes'.

"Rook then?" Killian turns to the dæmon, smiling. "Hello, Rook."

Rook turns into a kitten and meows before leaping to Alice's arms, still holding the chess piece in her hand.

Killian sighs, feeling a huge weight lift from his shoulders. His little girl's dæmon now has a name, and he couldn't be more proud.

* * *

Rook is turning out to be as curious as Alice is. As soon as Alice starts mumbling more words, Killian finds books with illustrations of animals and buys them to read to her.

He shows her the pictures, says the animal's name, Alice repeats it - in various levels of fluency - then Rook assumes its form, learning that he can't turn into very big animals.

One day, Killian brings in a glass bowl and a book with illustrations of sea creatures. He fills the bowl with water, then brings Alice and Rook to sit beside him.

"Frog," Killian says.

"Fffog," Alice repeats, and Rook turns into one.

Killian smiles and points at the glass bowl. "Get in," he tells Rook. Rook follows, and after the initial shock, he starts swimming around. Alice giggles enthusiastically and Killian smiles at her new experience.

"Now," he says. "Let's see fish and animals of the sea."

They start with small fish, with Killian deliberately skipping the bigger ones. Alice puts her hand inside the bowl and feels the different skins against her hand. The book isn't coloured, so Rook morphs into fish with bright, lively colours Killian has never seen in his unnaturally long life. But it entertains both Alice and Rook so he doesn't care enough to correct them.

Alice becomes transfixed at the drawing of a starfish. She points at it as she turns to Killian.

"'tar," she says.

"Yes, it's shaped like a star. So it's called 'starfish'". They both turn to the glass bowl, seeing Rook turn into a starfish at the bottom. Alice giggles and plays with Rook's feet.

"'tafi! 'tafi!" she says happily.

"Yes, starfish," Killian says and winces. It's way too early for Rook to settle, but he hopes he won't settle into a marine animal. Even he, with his love for the sea, knows how hard it is for the few people whose dæmons settle into those.

"More! More!" Alice says and turns back to the book.

"Dolphin," Killian says.

"Dophi," Alice says, and Killian realizes his mistake too late.

"No!" he says and moves away, but it's too late. Rook changes into a dolphin, a small one but still big enough to break the bowl in pieces and splash water everywhere. Alice starts crying.

"Bloody hell," Killian says as he looks at Rook, mere inches away from touching him accidentally.

"Ouch!" Alice says between her cries, and Rook changes into a kitten, burrowing in Alice's neck. It's then that Killian sees blood on her leg.

Panic takes over him and he scoops her up, away from the glass shards. He looks at her injury - it's a small piece of glass but she's small herself - and even though it doesn't look to have gone too deep, there's blood and Killian finds himself in a shock.

"Shh, shh," he coos at her, putting her down on the table and trying to assess the damage. What if it was a bigger piece of glass? What if it got stuck somewhere more crucial?

Eventually, the wound seems only superficial, as Killian easily takes out the shard and sees that only a tiny piece of it had hurt her. Alice is still crying, however, and Killian can't stop blaming himself.

He was an idiot. The bowl was too small! Why didn't he think it through?

"I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry," he says as he picks her up, carefully, in order to go get some bandages. Rook turns into a hummingbird and flies around them. Alice has calmed down a little, now only leftover sobs sounding from her.

"There. You're gonna be alright, aye?" he says, putting her back down on the table again and wrapping the bandage around her leg. Rook turns back into a kitten and nuzzles against Alice for comfort.

"'tarfi," Alice says softly.

"Yes. Starfish yes. No dolphin." He looks at her emphatically.

"tarfi," Alice says again, and Rook turns into one despite not being in the water.

"No, no. In water," Killian says, but Alice only picks him up and stares. Killian looks at her warily, but at her first choke Rook turns back into a kitten.

"Starfish in water," Killian says as Alice turns to him.

"Cat," Alice says, petting Rook's fur.

"Cat yes," Killian says and smiles. It pains him, that the only way she can learn about any animal is through books. As he was roaming a lot as a child, he remembers seeing in the flesh many different animals, and Esther trying to take their form. Alice may have her Rook, but her experiences are so limited it makes him almost mad with the want to free her.

He will. One day. But for now, they both need him before Rook learns which forms he can safely take.


End file.
